Why? you might ask.... Oh my baby's just been screaming for an hour and half and shows no sign of stopping. This is no "fussing". This is straight up "conniption" crying. I finally decided to just shake myself out of sleepiness and get on the computer. The problem is if I fall in and out of sleep, I inevitably stumble into his room, out of habit, and either pat his back or pick him up. This might sound like I'm the worst mom in the world to not want to comfort my child when he's screaming his guts out, but for Jackson, it's necessary. He's such a bad sleeper and I know I'm partly to blame (I'm such a softie).
I've tried the slow separation, pat the back when they start crying, pick up put down methods and it hasn't helped. So, I have to figure out a way to be strong and not even touch him for hours while he screams. The part that stresses me out is him flailing his body around the crib. I took away his heavy blanket so he won't get wrapped up in it. Hopefully, all that crying is keeping him warm enough. Earlier, I stumbled in to pat him and he freaked out so much at me being there, that he was on his stomach and he pushed himself up into sitting position. Also, when he's on his stomach, he'll push up on to his toes, so his bum's high in the air and slam himself to the side. I told you. Conniption.
Yeah, I have to keep myself in wake mode or I'm just frustrated with him. If I can keep a straight head, then I remember that we're doing this for a reason. I'll feed him at 4, which is almost another 3 hrs. I bet you he cries the entire time. So what does that mean? If he never falls asleep, does he still associate nursing with sleeping? So the whole night was pointless because he never once fell asleep on his own. Ugh.
Pause. He's not crying. He's sleep hiccuping. Oh, j.k. Back to crying.
It just breaks my heart, because during the day, Jackson and I play and giggle and snuggle and read and it's like the best little relationship I could ever ask for. And then, the night comes. (Ok, I really wanted to sing Les Miserables, "And the dragons come at niiight" Don't know it? I Dreamed a Dream? You're missing out.)
I think he fell asleep. I'm going to try to sleep while he does.
Well, it's 7:45 am now so you know we eventually did get some sleep.
I just read back through my post. 'Twas a rough night. Hopefully tonight goes better. Jackson woke up smiling. What a goober.
2 comments:
Sorry Whit! It is so hard being a Mom sometimes. But just remember it breaks your heart now....but they do become teenagers and you both don't sleep at night anyway:) you guys are just learning early!
sorry i posted earlier and it went on as my husbands account. I didn't want you to think you had a stalker
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