Mothers day

There's so many feelings connected to the word mother for me.

Love: for my own mom. We've always been close. We're very similar in our perspective on life and with what we think is funny and sad. We get along quite easily. It makes me sad when i hear about poor relationships between mothers and daughters.

Happiness: for my sweet boy. What a blessing it is to be a mom. It is the greatest thing in the world when Jackson crawls over to me as fast as possible and lays his head on my lap or pats my face when I'm rocking him. We laugh so much together and i feel like i have a buddy all the time.

Stress: because some days are hard. Jackson has tested me in many ways. A lot of his first year was difficult. He cried for the first 3 months, and is still needy and whiney (sp?) most of the time. I have learned that whatever he's feeling, he wants to share it as strongly as possible. Which is wonderful when he's happy, but draining when he's not.

Sadness: because sometimes I'm not perfect. There are days, looking back, when i got frustrated with my baby and i feel bad. I know I'm going to make mistakes but it's still not fun to think about them.

Pride: because there are days when i think I'm an awesome mom. I love playing with Jackson, talking to him, making him laugh, snuggling him and not caring that there's a pile of laundry staring at me. I try to let him explore as much as possible, which means my house is messy, but we have a lot of fun together. And to be honest, i haven't had a frustrated day in a long time and I'm very proud of that. I'm learning every day what he needs and what i can do.

Admiration: for the moms around me. I'm so impressed by moms. My mom. My sister, Jess. My sister in law, Adrienne. My mother in law. There's so much good i see and it helps me be better.

Excitement: for future babies. I can't wait for the opportunity to feel another baby in my tummy, to hold another little, wrinkly newborn, to get another personality in my home.

Happy mother's day. I hope all of you moms know just how cool you are.