Baby update

He was 1 wk old here.

This was from his 1 month photo shoot

These other 2 are just shots from home.

This is going to be typed rather quickly because bubba is asleep and one never knows how long that will last, so ignore any spelling, punct., capit.,or really any mistakes that make me look less smart. In fact, can we just say that applies forever?

My sweet baby boy is Jackson. He will be 1 month old tomorrow and we're pretty sure he's gonna be a chunky monkey. He is a great eater, although nursing was harder than expected. What a shock, being a mom isn't a breeze all the time? He has big brown eyes and the cutest button nose ever (we think he got it from me.. just sayin.) He likes his bouncer by the window in the mornings and his favorite place to sleep has been on my chest.

This blog is going to become a journal of our life together, so i apologize if you get sick of hearing about my day to day dealings as a new mom, but it's too hard for me to write in a journal so I'm hoping i can keep up with the typing a little bit easier. Probably not though, since it's taken a month to write this.

The first thing i for sure want to document is about how much i love being a mom. it's so much harder than i thought but i wouldn't change it for the world. Part of the reason it is a lot harder than i expected it to be is because this little boy is not afraid to cry. I could tell he was fussier than normal within that first week. **side note, he must have heard me typing about him because he woke up "starving" and so I'm continuing this post an hr later...** But yes, i knew he was a little bit fussier and i don't think i was completely naive about newborns crying. I knew they cried a lot and crying has never stressed me out. However, its different when it's your own and you know they are depending on you to make them happy. There were a few days in those first 2 wks where he cried for hours and he cried hard, which then in turn made me cry hard. It was horribly sad. i wanted my sweet little boy to be okay and i didn't know how to help him.

The hospital had given us a dvd about newborn's crying and luckily I actually kept it, so when he was 2 wks, Leo and I watched it and it totally changed my perspective. it was called the period of purple crying. it talked about all the characteristics of the crying and it totally described what i'd been dealing with. The main thing it taught me was that you should always try to soothe them- Do what you can. Buuut, when it gets hard, it is perfectly acceptable to put them down and walk away so you don't get too frustrated. And lastly, don't shake them. Which to be completely honest, if your baby screamed for 8 hrs a day with no break, I could see how someone could get to a breakdown point.

then of course, I started researching colic and everything that comes with that. I don't know if he actually would be diagnosed with colic, but it basically means there's not a reason for their crying and that definitely describes him, so he probably is. I've been dairy free now for a week and a half to see if it will help him. I don't think he has a milk allergy but I know it's hard for all newborns to digest dairy so I'll try it til he's 2 months old and if it doesn't make a difference, then I'll work it back in. It makes me eat super healthy so I guess there's another benefit.

In his 2nd week, I had a meltdown day and that's when I watched the dvd and started reading about other's experiences with fussy babies. That helped me soo much. Just knowing that I wasn't alone and that this is surprisingly common was a total help. For me, the biggest change has been my attitude. I always have low expectations about my days. I just think, okay, he's probably gonna cry a lot and then if he doesn't, we count it as a great day! Also, I don't beat myself up about him crying. I don't blame myself as long as I've done what I could. Annnd, the other thing is that I know it will eventually end. At some point he'll grow out of it and I will have survived.

Luckily, he has his happy moments and those make it all worth it. And his daddy is amazing! I don't think I would be sane at all if it weren't for Leo. He is way patient with the crying and always gives me a break at night. I am so grateful for him.

I'll try to give more updates soon, but if it doesn't happen, it's okay because it means I'm busy being a mom.